Vampire Review, Manga Edition: Angel Dust

I was all excited to read this one because apparently in it, Young Father Anderson is a drug dealer.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to die.

I couldn't figure out the plot of this thing at all.

What I DID figure out was far, far worse. Unlike Doc's Story, you can't figure out what's going on unless you read Japanese really well. Otherwise... it's just page after page of random sex. Horrible, godawful, painful sex.

Let's just meet the characters now. There's a lot of them, and they're uh... interesting.

So our hero is this poor fucker, Young Father Anderson.

He comes home from the grocery store to find his friend Young Yumie in a compromising position. I am not showing you that picture for your own good.

Now, Young Yumie is in a compromising position with this guy.

Don't recognize him?How about now?

Minor characters in this part of the story include Rapist No Eyes...

And the Two Goons.

Wait.
Wait.
In the back there... is that?... nah. That can't be.

So ...Bishop Maxwell... has his way with Yumie, along with a bunch of other guys. But instead of flipping out and killing them ALL, she kind of cries and has flashbacks. Fr. Anderson gets pissed, he takes off, they go to a safe house, and...

HEINKEL WILL END YOU BOTH DON'T DO IT MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE oh god Father Anderson has sex with Yumie. The rape victim. Who seduces him after having a rape flashback.

We then go on to the volume that actually made me cry. Why? Well. We'll see in a bit. The scans I downloaded had been colored by the person who had them before me, so I can't really say what color everything is supposed to be. We do get to see the start of Hirano's fixation with writing on crosses, though.

In this chapter, we meet a thoroughly uninteresting short-haired blonde nun who doesn't have sex with anybody and a whole shitton of random characters.

.
.
.
No.
Not him.
Anybody but him. Or Tegs or Rip.

Kill me now.

So here we have wimpy-lookin' Protocard talking to... where in hell did this child come from? Why the hell is there a child in this manga?

Is that child Young Capcap and if so I think I know why he does not ever speak. It should be noted that our 'main' character pretty much doesn't show up any more, and in fact, all semblance of a plot has gone, because Protocard meets...

That was the cleanest picture there is of this person. And yes. It IS a female Pip. Guess why she's all excited. Hint. That was the part where I started crying.

So these two get done, then on the next page, Protocard is discovered to SURPRISE SURFUCKINGPRISE be a priest. EVERYBODY in this book is clergy. EVEN FEMALE PIP. It seems that she died during the night because he's being very sad next to a tombstone.

And then they go to Rio.

It tells you how much of a nerd I am that I recognized that hotel desk, but it's the same damn desk. Seriously. They just fixed it up a bit in Hellsing proper.

Yeah. It's ok... kid who really looks like uninteresting blonde nun who doesn't have sex but I'm not opening up that damn file again to take more pictures. It's ok. You just got Riocard'd, that's all. To close out the manga, we have a shot of this guy in the last panel. And I'll be damned if he didn't remind me of Walter. Old Walter.

I hate my life.

In Conclusion
Sanity Check: AUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Canonicity: DEAR GOD PLEASE NO
Favorite Panel: Not a panel in particular, but a series of panels. After a few shots of food coloring, I happened to notice something. Remember that goon from the first volume? Well, he came back.

His name is Easy.

Sir Easy Islands.
Huh.

Fffffff, I was supposed to do Coyote after this, but I don't think I can handle it. Tune in next time for my review of Hellsing: Legend of the Vampire Hunter! Mercifully, there's no Catholics in it!